Gone are the days of hitting the town for a night out with your best friends, wearing a glitzy ‘bride-to-be’ sash and popping open bottles of Prosecco.
Hen dos have become a whole different ball game and are now often a much grander occasion – and often requiring those who attend to have a passport in date and plenty of holiday spends.
What was once traditionally just a one-night affair – usually down the local pub – has morphed into an entire industry, with hen holidays now incorporating everything from costly spa trips to expensive nightclubs and even soirees at Michelin-starred restaurants.
Chef Gordon Ramsay’s daughter Holly’s recent celebration, for example, saw her wear a £1,450 white Clio Peppiatt mini dress as she danced alongside A-lister friends including Victoria Beckham no less.
Holly is set to marry Olympic swimmer Adam Peaty this Christmas and partied ahead of her upcoming nuptials at Soho Farmhouse in Oxfordshire.
The rise of extravagant hen celebrations raises an awkward question for many though – what if you simply can’t afford to attend?
Or think it’s unfair that the bride in question is even asking her friends and family to spend such sums…with an outlay to attend the wedding also likely to follow?
Hen dos have evolved from simple nights out with friends to much more lavish celebrations, and even holidays
Chef Gordon Ramsay’s daughter Holly’s hen do was held at Soho Farmhouse in Oxfordshire, ahead of her wedding this Christmas to Olympic swimmer Adam Peaty
One concerned mother recently shared with the Daily Mail’s Holiday Guru how her daughter was going to be a bridesmaid next year, and was being asked to pay £800 for just three days in Ibiza.
Our Holiday Guru highlighted how the expectation for what goes on at hen parties has grown hugely in recent times.
They added: ‘A big problem is that the expectation for what goes on at hen parties has grown hugely in recent times, becoming a profitable industry with spa days, private sunset cruises, bottomless brunches, poledancing lessons, cocktail-making classes and – yes – strippers.
‘Meanwhile, hotels have generally become swankier and more expensive – £150-£200 a night is common. It can all add up. One shell-shocked woman who attended a hen party in Marbella last month was reported to have blown more than £1,000 on flights, hotels and bars and clubs.’
The Guru also wrote how the social conundrum can see friendships falter under the pressure.
‘On one side are those who argue that, if you are a true friend, you should go with the flow and celebrate the future happiness of the bride-to-be without penny pinching.
‘On the other are those who consider it an imposition to have to go aboard and shell out vast amounts. She’s been put in a corner. If she backs out, it suggests her friendship is not as strong as others who are willing to go all in.
‘On social media, such dilemmas come up frequently. The issue recently sparked a flurry of indignant reactions on the Mumsnet platform, with comments ranging from “it would be RUDE to ask to pay for the hen as well” to “costs should definitely be split equally” and “I’d be up for paying the bride’s share of a meal out, but the bride’s share of a weekend away? Not a chance in hell”.’
Here, two women share with the Daily Mail how they’ve dealt with the expectations of brides with big hen holiday aspirations…
‘I had to tell my friend that, financially, “I just can’t do this…”‘
London-based PR Jasmine Denike, 32, who’s originally from Canada, reveals how she opted out of her friend’s hen do in Europe because of the time and money it would take
Jasmine Denike, 32, is originally from Canada but lives in London and works in PR
She was asked to join her friend’s overseas hen do and although Jasmine opted out, she estimates the trip would have cost around £600 for just two days.
‘I had a friend who was getting married back in Canada, she wanted to do a hen do where she goes to travel in Europe,’ the Canadian tells the Daily Mail. ‘But it was at a time where I was a bit tight on money.’
Jasmine decided to say no after considering the time, as well as the money, the trip would take up for her.
‘I just didn’t have any annual leave left that I felt comfortable using. I didn’t want to spend the money on the flights and the accommodation and she wanted it to be quite nice,’ Jasmine continues.
‘Ultimately, I basically told her, I want to go to your wedding, and I want to celebrate you, and if you’re doing something in London, I’m happy to be there.’
Fortunately, the bride did a small celebration in London too and Jasmine says her friendship wasn’t affected by the situation.
‘I told her financially, I just can’t do this, but she was really accommodating about it, which was good,’ she adds.
‘I didn’t want to be the girl who says no. Everyone had different budgets, but nobody talked about it…’
Nassira Sennoune, 25, from Morocco paid around $600 for her best friend’s hen do after the cost of flights, the hotel, restaurants and activities added up
Nassira Sennoune, 25, faced similar issues when her best friend invited her to a hen do in Marrakech while she was living in Tangier, in the north of Morocco.
They flew to the city, booked a hotel and planned various activities. Soon, ‘the real price became around $600 each,’ Nassira explains.
Restaurant meals and extras including ‘taxes and small things added more money’ for the communications coordinator, who now lives in the UK.
‘In Morocco a hen do is not traditional, it is something foreign for us,’ Nassira reveals.
‘In European style, a hen do is new for Moroccan girls and many girls don’t know how expensive it can be.’
‘Some girls wanted a more Instagram-style area,’ she shares, but in the end ‘it was too expensive’ and would have cost around $120 to $150 per night.
‘There was a pressure to spend money. I didn’t want to be the girl who says no. Everyone had different budgets, but nobody talked about it,’ Nassira says.
In the end, she did skip some paid activities to try and ‘save money’ but it still felt like a ‘holiday’ and ‘not a simple hen do’.
‘For me, hen dos today feel like a small vacation, they are fun, but the cost is too high,’ Nassira says.
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